Ytd while i was on my way to meet a fren.. dear xinda called.. haha he had the most interesting emergency.. he planned a gathering which in the end many of them fly kite.. so he called so that there would be 4 people to play cranium.. i don't really like that game cause my language sux.. but ok la.. he needed me and 10 yrs of friendship.. i chiong down as fast as i could from yew tee.. really enjoyed the game.. made quite a fool out of ourselves.. got home quite late and woke up damn early this morning...
Lucky my dad was home.. and he long bang me to lib to study.. quite productive.. manage to clear INAC exercises.. went to eat botak jones and played a bit of relac relac bball .. haha v fun also.. the day ended quite well until i got home.. hand itchy.. saw some thins.. and realise there are more things happening then it seems..
the road is getting rough(not mine though).. suspicion.. disappointment.. unhappiness.. happens that the related group of people are passive people.. a lot of times they don't speak whats in their mind.. and wait for thins to happen.. some can "announce" it in word forms and not verbally.. announce liao just stay put.. like.. ok..as if thins will move.. if really bothered.. just say so.. try to understand why its happening... no one is in any wrong... don't say not bothered or don't care.. if you don't.. then feelings wouldn't be expressed out in words.. come on man.. time doesn't wait.. time doesn't care... but all of us do.. be active.. initiate.. speak out loud and make the world turn again...
And chill off people.. don't just follow your feelings.. have the trust been lowered to that much? think about it people.. learn to think and not feel.. learn to understand and not just see.. open up.. and all will realise there is something more then any1 can believe..
Yea.. if too chim.. let me noe.. lol.. i say simpler manner... no one is perfect... peace...
Saturday, May 31, 2008
too many passives to make the world turn
Friday, May 30, 2008
when the clock strike 12..
Its almost an hour pass 12am... which means to say.. 24 hours have passed.. still the call i long waited didn't come.. i expected a high prob that this would happen.. but the thought of it is unbearable.. morning till the movie time i totally no mood.. tried doing more things to forget it.. but my heart still beats for it.. although AEM was alot of fun.. but the fun soon dies off from me.. by evening time i knew that things wouldn't moved.. but the time that i gave was up to 12am.. so i decided to continue to wait.. as the time ticked.. my heart slowly dies down.. but.. i was glad that i watch the movie.. with 2 great person somemore.. it was alot of fun.. which took away some of the pain...
Speaking of the movie.. the strangest thing was that while xiu, jn and i went to get mac so that we can smuggle into the cinema.. we met clarine and her sis.. best part.. both of them are jn's primary school friends.. i was like.. wth~ then we went straight into the cinema.. not long after i sat down.. i heard a familiar voice.. i turned and look.. FARK.. my cousin! lol.. and he knows clarine and her sis.. he says that they got go his house b4 and i should have seen them b4 liao.. ok.. after the movie i though abt it.. i think they were the twins that i saw at one of the dinner.. not very sure either.. the world is seriously very small.. fate i would say... haha
I always believe that as long one works hard for it.. miracle will happen.. but not this time.. it was the same as b4.. the harder i try.. the harder i fall.. but I've learnt to accept and endure.. losing my faith but working to persevere... enjoyed my day... glowing thing.. haha.. will get it for some1's bday.. er hem.. =P
Speaking of the movie.. the strangest thing was that while xiu, jn and i went to get mac so that we can smuggle into the cinema.. we met clarine and her sis.. best part.. both of them are jn's primary school friends.. i was like.. wth~ then we went straight into the cinema.. not long after i sat down.. i heard a familiar voice.. i turned and look.. FARK.. my cousin! lol.. and he knows clarine and her sis.. he says that they got go his house b4 and i should have seen them b4 liao.. ok.. after the movie i though abt it.. i think they were the twins that i saw at one of the dinner.. not very sure either.. the world is seriously very small.. fate i would say... haha
I always believe that as long one works hard for it.. miracle will happen.. but not this time.. it was the same as b4.. the harder i try.. the harder i fall.. but I've learnt to accept and endure.. losing my faith but working to persevere... enjoyed my day... glowing thing.. haha.. will get it for some1's bday.. er hem.. =P
Wednesday, May 28, 2008
Disturbing sleep....
7.36pm now and i started blogging already... its been so long since i reach home this early.. suppose to met someone at woodland but decided not to go.. cause i needed the rest... today xiu seems a lot happier.. and of cos i know the reason.. had a conflicting feeling.. but nvm.. more important is that she smiling...
Ytd night was horrible.. went to sleep at about 12 plus.. but i ended up lying on the bed for 4 hours.. i couldn't sleep.. there is this restless and frustrating feeling within me.. this time round i really dunno why its happening.. one of good friend told me... something is bothering me.. but what? Even i myself don't know the cause of this.. 4 hours.. i stared at the constellation on the ceiling.. many things run through my mind.. happy.. sad.. angry.. disappointment.. the more i try not to think.. the more they flash across..
Finally! I manage to fell asleep at 4 am.. but my journey doesn't end there... every year.. i will have this weird dream.. seriously.. its a dream i had it since primary school.. the dream goes like... i find myself running through series of door.. but not matter how many i open.. I'm always stuck inside the place.. its like a maze.. there is something I'm looking for.. but each time I'm close to the end.. the dream just ended.. in the dream.. it was like only 5 to 10 min... but i have slept for 3 hours..
Supposedly I'm immune to it.. its no longer scary.. but each year when it comes a few times.. it slowly became very disturbing for me.. how can anyone keep reoccurring the same dream for so many years? can any1 tell me what the hell is going on? weirdest thing is that.. usually one will forget a dream content very quickly... but each time i had it.. i can always clearly remember it.. so i ended up didn't get a lot of rest.. tml got AEM programme... hope its fun.. and hopefully the movie at 7pm is enjoyable...
SMILE GAL SMILE~~~ sorry... i really dunno what else i can do... even though i know i can't be that smiling factor.. but I'll try... idiots need to think to work... =P just need to know.. whenever u need a hand.. a shoulder.. a leg.. an ass.. lol.. kidding.. just turn back and i'll be there... =)
Ytd night was horrible.. went to sleep at about 12 plus.. but i ended up lying on the bed for 4 hours.. i couldn't sleep.. there is this restless and frustrating feeling within me.. this time round i really dunno why its happening.. one of good friend told me... something is bothering me.. but what? Even i myself don't know the cause of this.. 4 hours.. i stared at the constellation on the ceiling.. many things run through my mind.. happy.. sad.. angry.. disappointment.. the more i try not to think.. the more they flash across..
Finally! I manage to fell asleep at 4 am.. but my journey doesn't end there... every year.. i will have this weird dream.. seriously.. its a dream i had it since primary school.. the dream goes like... i find myself running through series of door.. but not matter how many i open.. I'm always stuck inside the place.. its like a maze.. there is something I'm looking for.. but each time I'm close to the end.. the dream just ended.. in the dream.. it was like only 5 to 10 min... but i have slept for 3 hours..
Supposedly I'm immune to it.. its no longer scary.. but each year when it comes a few times.. it slowly became very disturbing for me.. how can anyone keep reoccurring the same dream for so many years? can any1 tell me what the hell is going on? weirdest thing is that.. usually one will forget a dream content very quickly... but each time i had it.. i can always clearly remember it.. so i ended up didn't get a lot of rest.. tml got AEM programme... hope its fun.. and hopefully the movie at 7pm is enjoyable...
SMILE GAL SMILE~~~ sorry... i really dunno what else i can do... even though i know i can't be that smiling factor.. but I'll try... idiots need to think to work... =P just need to know.. whenever u need a hand.. a shoulder.. a leg.. an ass.. lol.. kidding.. just turn back and i'll be there... =)
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
what to do...
Suppose to wake up super early to do my dip plus hw.. ended up sleepin late again.. haha.. but i still manage to finish my tutorial.. met xiu, anil and daryl for lunch.. xiu like still a bit emo.. today INAC i totally never listen at all.. spend my time playing dumb games.. feel so sinful.. worse thing INAC paper is like on next monday.. crap..
After school went for dip plus lesson.. and it ended early with more hws then b4.. kaoz.. we manage to bargain to hand in the hw later hahaha.. cool.. after that.. i went to woodland for tuition.. by the time i left school.. xiu and ed already started to eat... so i decided just go woodgrove and eat something.. eating alone is really much easier to find a space to sit down.. but a but mafan... cos i got laptop and stuff.. since i was early.. i took my time to eat and stone once in a while.. den finally i went to gif tuition...
Decided to wait for xiu at woodland mrt.. wanted to walk her home.. cos she is like still a bit emo.. but she chased me off.. haha.. sian lor..still dunno what to do to cheer her up.. really become 2pid liao.. what to do~
After school went for dip plus lesson.. and it ended early with more hws then b4.. kaoz.. we manage to bargain to hand in the hw later hahaha.. cool.. after that.. i went to woodland for tuition.. by the time i left school.. xiu and ed already started to eat... so i decided just go woodgrove and eat something.. eating alone is really much easier to find a space to sit down.. but a but mafan... cos i got laptop and stuff.. since i was early.. i took my time to eat and stone once in a while.. den finally i went to gif tuition...
Decided to wait for xiu at woodland mrt.. wanted to walk her home.. cos she is like still a bit emo.. but she chased me off.. haha.. sian lor..still dunno what to do to cheer her up.. really become 2pid liao.. what to do~
Monday, May 26, 2008
EBD - Extreme Badminton Day!
Ytd was like freaking tired to blog.. sleep at 4 am in the morning and woke up like in 3 hrs time.. woot.. den went down woodland lib and studied.. biochem and mobio not too bad.. still can handle.. haha.. now worried for INAC.. dunno what the hell that ass teaching.. no idea what will be out too.. crap..
This morning i reach school early again and i was damn damn tired.. i literally fell asleep outside the Coop.. had a morning mobio practical which we made a lot of noise haha.. we were going crazy.. think its due to the lack of sleep man.. 1/2 way thru the eugene go bao to xiu to teacher saying she not going the 4 pm lecture.. while their at it.. i confess to teacher that i not going to.. i say because i respect him.. so i inform him about it.. haha.. i repeated the confession a 2nd time while we having lunch together.. haha.. crap around and tried digging out info for CA man.. haha... too bad we got nothing out from him.. he keep saying he haven set the paper yet so he dunno.. haha..
Anyway.. after forday's tutorial.. daryl and i went down to woodland sports hall to play badminton with ed and xiu.. wah~ play until damn shioooook sia.. hahaha.... enjoyed it man.. then after that jn come.. i partner her and we played against xiu and ed.. although we lost la.. but we lose like by only 1 point each time man.. not too bad ar.. especially jn dun play badminton one... we played until leg tired.. but if no one say stop ar.. i think i will continue.. hahaha.. my bball frens always say once i start playing.. i dunno how to stop one.. hahaha.. i think quite true.. cause i'm enjoying mah.. what to do...
Had dinner at LJS and we went home.. send xiu home 1st.. then call to disturb jn.. hahaha.. anyway.. when i reach home.. xiu confess she also a bit emo when i told her my friend's nick damn emo.. dunno why when she emo.. i also will feel a bit emo.. emo also don't suit her.. the crazy and funnie you is the best.. bring a lot of fun.. must smile.. i know its hard at times.. but even a little bit also will lighten your mood a bit.. i also dunno what to say or do to help.. i'm such a big idiot.. but i think she no mood could be she tired liao.. she also slept in the lab in this morning b4 practical lesson start.. so suggested she go sleep and have a good dream.. haha..
Anyway going to sleep soon too.. gotta wake up early to do my dip plus tutorial.. sux man..
This morning i reach school early again and i was damn damn tired.. i literally fell asleep outside the Coop.. had a morning mobio practical which we made a lot of noise haha.. we were going crazy.. think its due to the lack of sleep man.. 1/2 way thru the eugene go bao to xiu to teacher saying she not going the 4 pm lecture.. while their at it.. i confess to teacher that i not going to.. i say because i respect him.. so i inform him about it.. haha.. i repeated the confession a 2nd time while we having lunch together.. haha.. crap around and tried digging out info for CA man.. haha... too bad we got nothing out from him.. he keep saying he haven set the paper yet so he dunno.. haha..
Anyway.. after forday's tutorial.. daryl and i went down to woodland sports hall to play badminton with ed and xiu.. wah~ play until damn shioooook sia.. hahaha.... enjoyed it man.. then after that jn come.. i partner her and we played against xiu and ed.. although we lost la.. but we lose like by only 1 point each time man.. not too bad ar.. especially jn dun play badminton one... we played until leg tired.. but if no one say stop ar.. i think i will continue.. hahaha.. my bball frens always say once i start playing.. i dunno how to stop one.. hahaha.. i think quite true.. cause i'm enjoying mah.. what to do...
Had dinner at LJS and we went home.. send xiu home 1st.. then call to disturb jn.. hahaha.. anyway.. when i reach home.. xiu confess she also a bit emo when i told her my friend's nick damn emo.. dunno why when she emo.. i also will feel a bit emo.. emo also don't suit her.. the crazy and funnie you is the best.. bring a lot of fun.. must smile.. i know its hard at times.. but even a little bit also will lighten your mood a bit.. i also dunno what to say or do to help.. i'm such a big idiot.. but i think she no mood could be she tired liao.. she also slept in the lab in this morning b4 practical lesson start.. so suggested she go sleep and have a good dream.. haha..
Anyway going to sleep soon too.. gotta wake up early to do my dip plus tutorial.. sux man..
Sunday, May 25, 2008
farking worse day of the week
oh great its like 2.12am in the morning and i'm farking stuck at my laptop.. why?? U ASKING ME WHY? oh.. i got nothing better to do so i decided to get myself deprived of sleep! hoho... so cool huh.. FARK YOU! i had to recover my farking OS and i lost every single shit programmes that i need for school and entertainment.. xiu was playin fark it by eason.. and i was like.. oooo i should listen to that~ hey guess what.. MY FARKING FOLDERS ARE EMPTY! cool huh... __
Was sick ytd and couldn't go for badminton today.. stuck at my farking house for the whole day.. and now this! WTF man.. if i don't add a single farking vulgarity in each sentences.. it farking can't show how farking pissed i am! got no one to disturb.. not allow to disturb anyone.. ok fine~!! i'll be farking quiet~ so quiet that you all farking won't realised i'm there.. that should make everyone farking happy~ __ __ already things are bad.. and all the farking programmes still gif me alot of farking problems... farking window update getting failed updates... farking msn cannot fully install everything.. tell you what.. FARK IT MAN!
Now i have to spend my farking time going down to school service centre to help me install all the farking programmes i'm still lacking.. yayayaya... its time i should sleep huh.. FARK! TRY SLEEPING THIS! imaginG...FARKING IMAGINE.. everything you have.. you need its gone! How the fark you going to sleep! If you lose your farking wallet with all your money and farking cards or u lost ur farking phone will all your contacts.. can u farking sleep!!!? the onli thing i can be glad of is i dun need to spend my farking money to get a farking OS cd to install.. weee.. i'm "soOoOoOOOO'" farking happy~~~ ................................ __
These few weeks have been farking rough for me... just let me go to hell with all the FARKs..
EDITED*
Now is like 3.27 am in the farking morning.. and i have to keep restarting my farking lappy cos the window update couldn't handle so many farking updates at one time.. my mum woke up and all she ever said is .. its mid nite and you are wasting my electricity.. WTF? not i want to one lor.. fark~ she never bother to ask why just shoot me and go back to her sleep.. fark up! feeling worse now..
Was sick ytd and couldn't go for badminton today.. stuck at my farking house for the whole day.. and now this! WTF man.. if i don't add a single farking vulgarity in each sentences.. it farking can't show how farking pissed i am! got no one to disturb.. not allow to disturb anyone.. ok fine~!! i'll be farking quiet~ so quiet that you all farking won't realised i'm there.. that should make everyone farking happy~ __ __ already things are bad.. and all the farking programmes still gif me alot of farking problems... farking window update getting failed updates... farking msn cannot fully install everything.. tell you what.. FARK IT MAN!
Now i have to spend my farking time going down to school service centre to help me install all the farking programmes i'm still lacking.. yayayaya... its time i should sleep huh.. FARK! TRY SLEEPING THIS! imaginG...FARKING IMAGINE.. everything you have.. you need its gone! How the fark you going to sleep! If you lose your farking wallet with all your money and farking cards or u lost ur farking phone will all your contacts.. can u farking sleep!!!? the onli thing i can be glad of is i dun need to spend my farking money to get a farking OS cd to install.. weee.. i'm "soOoOoOOOO'" farking happy~~~ ................................ __
These few weeks have been farking rough for me... just let me go to hell with all the FARKs..
EDITED*
Now is like 3.27 am in the farking morning.. and i have to keep restarting my farking lappy cos the window update couldn't handle so many farking updates at one time.. my mum woke up and all she ever said is .. its mid nite and you are wasting my electricity.. WTF? not i want to one lor.. fark~ she never bother to ask why just shoot me and go back to her sleep.. fark up! feeling worse now..
Friday, May 23, 2008
Just Ranting..
today got up with bad start of the day.. didn't purposely wake up late.. my head was spinning i wasn't feeling too right.. couldn't really wake up.. somehow i manage to force myself out of the bed.. checked my temperature and hell i was having slight fever.. wanted to skip school.. but its like 3 hours of practical that i need to make up.. not so good idea.. and i also don't bear to PS xiu.. plus her assignment worksheet is with me.. so final decision.. go school..
Right at the beginning of school.. still not so bad.. can tahan.. but after that during the biochem lecture.. things changed.. the people behind were extremely noisy and i was like trying to figure out what doc forday was saying.. already not feeling well.. cannot concentrate... ccb behind still make noise.. if don't want to listen can don't come lecture la! KNN..
Its seriously irritating each time people don't try and start asking for help.. always making noise in the lecture then never listen.. then keep complaining don't understand..FARK! Is really don't understand or never try to understand.. even if don't feel like listening.. can farking shut up anot! CA coming liao still like that... if want to be slacker also be considerate for others la.. GROW UP PLEASE.. STOP PROCRASTINATING AND START TO BE CONSTRUCTIVE... when i look at the LT.. the front few rows were like damn focus while the behind farking noisy.. wish i was sitting there up front.. but oh well.. what the heck..
Really wanted to say that out.. but i'm feeling weak.. after the lecture.. i couldn't stand it anymore.. i just walk right out of the LT.. wanted to just go straight to the tables outside the Lab and do revision but doesn't seems too good to be that way... waited for them to come out and told them i not eating.. damn.. no appetite to eat anyway..
Outside the Lab was good.. cool breeze and the quietness really lighten my condition.. manage to do 1 paper.. got permission to go into lab early which was even better.. even more quiet.. especially when the guys are done eating.. the 1 hour plus of peace is what i needed.. xiu smsed like asking i ok a not.. to be frank... its a mixed.. at that time i'm ok.. but it's not really alright though.. still felt irritated.. sry gal if u felt that i was like attitude.. sry i made you felt bored in practical and bioinfo lesson...
After school... still no appetite.. but xiu was like.. "today you never eat anything.. better go buy some food to eat" ok lor. .bought mixed vegetable rice to makan.. which filled my stomach.. played saboteur after school while waiting for ed and xiu's friend.. manage to entertain them a little bit.. =) otherwise keep showing restless face to xiu not very nice.. after that we left off.. i drop by JP to buy panadol.. headache coming in.. pop 2 into my mouth and walk home.. on the way i went drop by to see whether the guys were playing bball.. yes they were.. haha.. shiok.. went to sweat out.. and indeed.. this trick always work.. panadol plus extreme sweating works very well.. but still feeling weak.. so decided to go back home..
arg~~ just feel like ranting off.. got this irritated feeling inside me that i want to get rid.. just like what val said.. today i'm not me.. most prob is because i'm not feeling well .. but i know largely is still the lecture shit... don't expect me to help or what if you don't put in effort to learn.. don't expect me to teach if you interrupt me from learning.. cause i cannot since i can't even understand due to you.. bloody peasants..
ranting over.. time to be me again.. chilling out.. oh ya.. money finally coming me.. yeah~ 2pid duck.. got money for your present liao.. =) Jn seems to be having quite a lot of stress.. don't keep worrying.. just do your best and never say die.. as long you put in 100% then you will never have regrets.. thats more important..
Keep 4getting to thank lek.. she read my blog and cheer me up.. thanks... 10 years of friend is not for nothing.. haha.. really appreciate it..ok gotta go mug a bit then can watch some funny vids.. tml no training.. only got free play.. shiok.. going to go early to "book" court.. haha..
Right at the beginning of school.. still not so bad.. can tahan.. but after that during the biochem lecture.. things changed.. the people behind were extremely noisy and i was like trying to figure out what doc forday was saying.. already not feeling well.. cannot concentrate... ccb behind still make noise.. if don't want to listen can don't come lecture la! KNN..
Its seriously irritating each time people don't try and start asking for help.. always making noise in the lecture then never listen.. then keep complaining don't understand..FARK! Is really don't understand or never try to understand.. even if don't feel like listening.. can farking shut up anot! CA coming liao still like that... if want to be slacker also be considerate for others la.. GROW UP PLEASE.. STOP PROCRASTINATING AND START TO BE CONSTRUCTIVE... when i look at the LT.. the front few rows were like damn focus while the behind farking noisy.. wish i was sitting there up front.. but oh well.. what the heck..
Really wanted to say that out.. but i'm feeling weak.. after the lecture.. i couldn't stand it anymore.. i just walk right out of the LT.. wanted to just go straight to the tables outside the Lab and do revision but doesn't seems too good to be that way... waited for them to come out and told them i not eating.. damn.. no appetite to eat anyway..
Outside the Lab was good.. cool breeze and the quietness really lighten my condition.. manage to do 1 paper.. got permission to go into lab early which was even better.. even more quiet.. especially when the guys are done eating.. the 1 hour plus of peace is what i needed.. xiu smsed like asking i ok a not.. to be frank... its a mixed.. at that time i'm ok.. but it's not really alright though.. still felt irritated.. sry gal if u felt that i was like attitude.. sry i made you felt bored in practical and bioinfo lesson...
After school... still no appetite.. but xiu was like.. "today you never eat anything.. better go buy some food to eat" ok lor. .bought mixed vegetable rice to makan.. which filled my stomach.. played saboteur after school while waiting for ed and xiu's friend.. manage to entertain them a little bit.. =) otherwise keep showing restless face to xiu not very nice.. after that we left off.. i drop by JP to buy panadol.. headache coming in.. pop 2 into my mouth and walk home.. on the way i went drop by to see whether the guys were playing bball.. yes they were.. haha.. shiok.. went to sweat out.. and indeed.. this trick always work.. panadol plus extreme sweating works very well.. but still feeling weak.. so decided to go back home..
arg~~ just feel like ranting off.. got this irritated feeling inside me that i want to get rid.. just like what val said.. today i'm not me.. most prob is because i'm not feeling well .. but i know largely is still the lecture shit... don't expect me to help or what if you don't put in effort to learn.. don't expect me to teach if you interrupt me from learning.. cause i cannot since i can't even understand due to you.. bloody peasants..
ranting over.. time to be me again.. chilling out.. oh ya.. money finally coming me.. yeah~ 2pid duck.. got money for your present liao.. =) Jn seems to be having quite a lot of stress.. don't keep worrying.. just do your best and never say die.. as long you put in 100% then you will never have regrets.. thats more important..
Keep 4getting to thank lek.. she read my blog and cheer me up.. thanks... 10 years of friend is not for nothing.. haha.. really appreciate it..ok gotta go mug a bit then can watch some funny vids.. tml no training.. only got free play.. shiok.. going to go early to "book" court.. haha..
Thursday, May 22, 2008
cold sweat...
Didn't felt like blogging ytd cos i was having this extreme stomach flu.. ytd some things happened along the way to woodland.. which made me worried very long.. thinking what went wrong.. decided to walk from granny's house to woodland mrt.. and my flu just step in like that.. it slowly got worse in the train.. i was having cold sweat.. its like the air con is blasting and i'm still sweating.. as i was walking home.. my stomach started to ache.. which was like hell painful.. glad that this morning its alright liao..
Planned to wake up early to run and get to school for revision in the library.. but i woke up late.. still manage to get my run.. but i reach sch like almost 12pm.. couldn't book a study room.. so bo bian went to those individual table to study.. I was like waiting for Ed's sms and he was waiting for mine.. so end up we never meet.. i decided to stay at the 3rd floor of the lib to study in case xiu coming to study.. which ended up never... but its ok.. i think was rather focus.. except when i was taking break and chatting on msn..
HT and zak were like damn irritating.. one keep saying rubbish.. pure rubbish.. while the other keep spamming letters .. i was like ARG~~ anyway if they do that one more time i block them liao.. maybe i should tell them about it 1st.. let them know what they were doing isn't very fun for others..
Met ed and xiu in school in the evening to root for xiu and samatha's double match.. ya.. glad ed came along.. can send the BAI KA xiu home.. haha.. good thing her leg gotten much much better.. relieved.. seeing the doc was a right choice.. yea.. so many people walk over again.. kinda sian.. samatha manage to play 2 matches only and xiu only played one which was a easy win.. if u ask me.. i think its kinda of boring.. hahaha.. anyway this sat should be all the nice matches cos its the semi and the finals.. so ya.. exciting.. =) took a bite at cheers and went home..
oh ya.. ytd when jn called me i was like shock! at 1st i was thinking who is this man.. sounds familiar but no impression.. den the 1st thing she said was like...
"want to eat western food a not?"
"western food? at this time?" - i thought..
haha then after that she reviewed to me who she was then i realize.. haha 2pid me.. exam coming.. and i'm like not prepared at all.. sian sia.. i need work harder..
Planned to wake up early to run and get to school for revision in the library.. but i woke up late.. still manage to get my run.. but i reach sch like almost 12pm.. couldn't book a study room.. so bo bian went to those individual table to study.. I was like waiting for Ed's sms and he was waiting for mine.. so end up we never meet.. i decided to stay at the 3rd floor of the lib to study in case xiu coming to study.. which ended up never... but its ok.. i think was rather focus.. except when i was taking break and chatting on msn..
HT and zak were like damn irritating.. one keep saying rubbish.. pure rubbish.. while the other keep spamming letters .. i was like ARG~~ anyway if they do that one more time i block them liao.. maybe i should tell them about it 1st.. let them know what they were doing isn't very fun for others..
Met ed and xiu in school in the evening to root for xiu and samatha's double match.. ya.. glad ed came along.. can send the BAI KA xiu home.. haha.. good thing her leg gotten much much better.. relieved.. seeing the doc was a right choice.. yea.. so many people walk over again.. kinda sian.. samatha manage to play 2 matches only and xiu only played one which was a easy win.. if u ask me.. i think its kinda of boring.. hahaha.. anyway this sat should be all the nice matches cos its the semi and the finals.. so ya.. exciting.. =) took a bite at cheers and went home..
oh ya.. ytd when jn called me i was like shock! at 1st i was thinking who is this man.. sounds familiar but no impression.. den the 1st thing she said was like...
"want to eat western food a not?"
"western food? at this time?" - i thought..
haha then after that she reviewed to me who she was then i realize.. haha 2pid me.. exam coming.. and i'm like not prepared at all.. sian sia.. i need work harder..
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
long day...
Got up early this morning and went for a run.. then i went down to xiu's house to bring her to school.. quite worried for her leg. Anyway.. when i saw it.. felt more relieved.. not as bad as it seems.. the swell is small and walking looks normal... ya.. went to school together and met daryl for lunch..
Had only biochem and INAC lecture.. biochem was fine.. den comes INAC.. again got people taking our row.. so bo bian we went to sit further behind.. but i think it was a bad choice.. anil they all very noisy.. then plus the lecture already quite noisy i could hardly hear what the lecturer saying.. felt a little irritated..
After the INAC.. went to accompany xiu.. help her dress her pig leg.. hahaa.. but i my skill really sux to the core.. not very nice at all.. sorry ar.. hahaha.. went to sit sit relax.. the court was like still booked for S & W so no badminton Com members were there.. felt like kanna cheated.. daryl also PS us.. say nice nice come and support one.. end up also go home.
xiu played mixed double and manage to have a easy victory in the 1st round... but i could already tell her leg is like hurting.. but i cannot tell her to stop... cos even for me.. i injured also will try to play.. better to try and lose then never do anything and lose.. she lost the 2nd round though.. actually can win one.. the opponent was like damn kan jiong.. giving a lot of points.. but KW like not playing to the fullest.. after the whole thing.. he explain his family got prob.. so we like forgive him.. hahaha..
still quite worried for the pig leg.. after the match it did swell a bit.. but not v serious yet.. tml bring the pig leg to c doc.. hopefully it will get better for the thursday woman double.. good luck!
Jn.. dun worry too much.. just do your best.. i know how disappointment can be a real killer for our confidence.. but things could be worse.. as long as you put in everything you got.. you won't have any regrets and thats more important.. believe.. and you won 1/2 the battle already.. chill gal..
Had only biochem and INAC lecture.. biochem was fine.. den comes INAC.. again got people taking our row.. so bo bian we went to sit further behind.. but i think it was a bad choice.. anil they all very noisy.. then plus the lecture already quite noisy i could hardly hear what the lecturer saying.. felt a little irritated..
After the INAC.. went to accompany xiu.. help her dress her pig leg.. hahaa.. but i my skill really sux to the core.. not very nice at all.. sorry ar.. hahaha.. went to sit sit relax.. the court was like still booked for S & W so no badminton Com members were there.. felt like kanna cheated.. daryl also PS us.. say nice nice come and support one.. end up also go home.
xiu played mixed double and manage to have a easy victory in the 1st round... but i could already tell her leg is like hurting.. but i cannot tell her to stop... cos even for me.. i injured also will try to play.. better to try and lose then never do anything and lose.. she lost the 2nd round though.. actually can win one.. the opponent was like damn kan jiong.. giving a lot of points.. but KW like not playing to the fullest.. after the whole thing.. he explain his family got prob.. so we like forgive him.. hahaha..
still quite worried for the pig leg.. after the match it did swell a bit.. but not v serious yet.. tml bring the pig leg to c doc.. hopefully it will get better for the thursday woman double.. good luck!
Jn.. dun worry too much.. just do your best.. i know how disappointment can be a real killer for our confidence.. but things could be worse.. as long as you put in everything you got.. you won't have any regrets and thats more important.. believe.. and you won 1/2 the battle already.. chill gal..
Monday, May 19, 2008
10 hours of sleep.. woohoo
Like the topic said.. i had 10 hours of sleep.. haha.. i think i will still be laying dead on the bed if not for mum screaming at me. My lunch and breakfast became a 2 in 1 meal. Felt drowsy at 1st.. went to on my lappy and start disturbing people.. wasn't making a lot of sense in my chats.. haha.. sooo having too much sleep isn't a good thing... HT msn me..
"Hey, u know how to do assignment 3?" - She
"Dunno" - Me
"He got go through this in lecture?" - She
"Dunno" - Me
"Dunno Dunno Dunno" - She
Like wtf! You also sat in the lectures what. What he went through u dunno meh? Why everything ask me? Ok.. i held on and ignored her. Don't want to flare so much. Xiu went for tuition and after disturbing Jn awhile i go play Call of Duty. Kaoz... felt dizzy after playing.. the motion is too much for me.. hahaha.. after gaming went to study.. mid afternoon i decided to check out how was xiu doing with her tuition... soon after.. i made a big choice.. i called up one of my long lost friend.. and asked.. how was she doing over there..
"You heartless bastard.. now den ask"
I didn't what to say.. all i ever said was.. sorry.. anyway.. i'm glad she is doing very well.. now my heart feels a lot a lot lighter then before. Like everything has really come to an end.. i went back to study... suppose to meet army bros to makan dinner one.. but my mum like forgot and cooked my share.. sorry bros.. not i wan to PS one.. my mum really have STM.. that night she asked me the same qn more den 3 times within 5 min.. snore..
Came online at around 8 plus.. and here come HT again.. She freaking asked me the same qn again.. i this time buay tahan liao.. i tell her..
"dunno means dunno.. you all damn funnie la.. got teacher dun ask" She was like saying friends can ask 1st mah.. den i was like.. crap.. u asked me once already.. she was really getting on my nerves.. good thing i had a lot of rest.. so i can hold back a lot of things.. i think if it was like 2 days ago.. she would have gotten it from me..
sometimes my friend would like scold me.. he say.. can you stop helping people around a not... your shoulder just keep getting more burden.. sorry bro.. i know you meant well.. but if i ever stop then that wouldn't be me..
Tomorrow will be the start of my battle.. 2 weeks battle all the way to CA.. started a bit later then usual.. hopefully.. i wouldn't be affected by anything within these 2 weeks..
"Hey, u know how to do assignment 3?" - She
"Dunno" - Me
"He got go through this in lecture?" - She
"Dunno" - Me
"Dunno Dunno Dunno" - She
Like wtf! You also sat in the lectures what. What he went through u dunno meh? Why everything ask me? Ok.. i held on and ignored her. Don't want to flare so much. Xiu went for tuition and after disturbing Jn awhile i go play Call of Duty. Kaoz... felt dizzy after playing.. the motion is too much for me.. hahaha.. after gaming went to study.. mid afternoon i decided to check out how was xiu doing with her tuition... soon after.. i made a big choice.. i called up one of my long lost friend.. and asked.. how was she doing over there..
"You heartless bastard.. now den ask"
I didn't what to say.. all i ever said was.. sorry.. anyway.. i'm glad she is doing very well.. now my heart feels a lot a lot lighter then before. Like everything has really come to an end.. i went back to study... suppose to meet army bros to makan dinner one.. but my mum like forgot and cooked my share.. sorry bros.. not i wan to PS one.. my mum really have STM.. that night she asked me the same qn more den 3 times within 5 min.. snore..
Came online at around 8 plus.. and here come HT again.. She freaking asked me the same qn again.. i this time buay tahan liao.. i tell her..
"dunno means dunno.. you all damn funnie la.. got teacher dun ask" She was like saying friends can ask 1st mah.. den i was like.. crap.. u asked me once already.. she was really getting on my nerves.. good thing i had a lot of rest.. so i can hold back a lot of things.. i think if it was like 2 days ago.. she would have gotten it from me..
sometimes my friend would like scold me.. he say.. can you stop helping people around a not... your shoulder just keep getting more burden.. sorry bro.. i know you meant well.. but if i ever stop then that wouldn't be me..
Tomorrow will be the start of my battle.. 2 weeks battle all the way to CA.. started a bit later then usual.. hopefully.. i wouldn't be affected by anything within these 2 weeks..
Sunday, May 18, 2008
too much sushi can kill...
kan suay.. morning wake up early.. go wash up.. after that i was like.. WHERE THE HELL IS MY SPECS.. i like spend 30 min finding my specs.. for a short moment i tot maybe my dad took it.. BUT.. damn heng.. i found it like stuck between some paper bags..
Quickly changed and went to woodland library to study. i got there like 9.30 and initially there was like v little people.. i queue up and woot.. after like 10 min.. behind me was a bunch of "hungry geeks" lol.. kidding nia.. i must believe in karma.. lol.. anyway.. met xiu and studied.. FOR A SHORT WHILE... =P not in the mood to study.. so i spend quite some time watching.. who's line is it anyway.. luv that damn show man... make me laff until my mouth numb especially when i have to hold everything in lor (remember i was in the lib)..
Left the lib in the afternoon and i waited somewhere near xiu's house.. played dota for the hr while she go shower and change at her house.. den we went to grab some food.. xiu like treat me to sushi.. knn one.. treat me 8- 9 sushi at 4 plus.. i eat until i wanna die.. but ok la.. although a bit full.. but i still finished it.. xiu went to beach cycling with jn's family.. wooohooo... think it should be quite fun. haha..
on my way home.. i received a sms.. like telling me my previous post damn emo la.. i was.. omg.. someone read that post.. and the best thin i just posted it ytd.. shock.. i think jn read it also.. otherwise she wouldn't have sms'ed me.. double the shock...
thanks for the concern.. but if wan me immediately stop emo.. a bit hard.. there is like too many thins on my mind BUT it will end soon.. i went through the toughest time.. i think i should be able to pull through this too.. my heart was broken for years.. what else could be worse then that.. haha.. at least now i can really relax and look back at the past already.. please give me some time.. short one.. =P
Sometimes i wonder.. did i really like the song "I Stay In Love" by Mariah Carey or i like it cause i relate it to my past.. i seriously dunno.. but i like listened to the song for more den 50 times within these 2 days.. i put it on a repeat and the song just keep going and going.. the song isn't something great.. but the feel is there... i dunno how many can understand.. but its just the feel.. nothing more.. no words can really describe that feeling... its really subjective to how good a song is.. like anil dun really find it nice.. while i do.. ya.. maybe its like wat xiu said.. he didn't had the experience so its hard for him to relate...
Today is relaxing... a short break for a longer journey.. another challenge coming soon.. CA.. kaoz.. need to work hard liao... pray that everything goes well.. hope that xiu can win the NP open.. wish that jn's load will lighten..
Quickly changed and went to woodland library to study. i got there like 9.30 and initially there was like v little people.. i queue up and woot.. after like 10 min.. behind me was a bunch of "hungry geeks" lol.. kidding nia.. i must believe in karma.. lol.. anyway.. met xiu and studied.. FOR A SHORT WHILE... =P not in the mood to study.. so i spend quite some time watching.. who's line is it anyway.. luv that damn show man... make me laff until my mouth numb especially when i have to hold everything in lor (remember i was in the lib)..
Left the lib in the afternoon and i waited somewhere near xiu's house.. played dota for the hr while she go shower and change at her house.. den we went to grab some food.. xiu like treat me to sushi.. knn one.. treat me 8- 9 sushi at 4 plus.. i eat until i wanna die.. but ok la.. although a bit full.. but i still finished it.. xiu went to beach cycling with jn's family.. wooohooo... think it should be quite fun. haha..
on my way home.. i received a sms.. like telling me my previous post damn emo la.. i was.. omg.. someone read that post.. and the best thin i just posted it ytd.. shock.. i think jn read it also.. otherwise she wouldn't have sms'ed me.. double the shock...
thanks for the concern.. but if wan me immediately stop emo.. a bit hard.. there is like too many thins on my mind BUT it will end soon.. i went through the toughest time.. i think i should be able to pull through this too.. my heart was broken for years.. what else could be worse then that.. haha.. at least now i can really relax and look back at the past already.. please give me some time.. short one.. =P
Sometimes i wonder.. did i really like the song "I Stay In Love" by Mariah Carey or i like it cause i relate it to my past.. i seriously dunno.. but i like listened to the song for more den 50 times within these 2 days.. i put it on a repeat and the song just keep going and going.. the song isn't something great.. but the feel is there... i dunno how many can understand.. but its just the feel.. nothing more.. no words can really describe that feeling... its really subjective to how good a song is.. like anil dun really find it nice.. while i do.. ya.. maybe its like wat xiu said.. he didn't had the experience so its hard for him to relate...
Today is relaxing... a short break for a longer journey.. another challenge coming soon.. CA.. kaoz.. need to work hard liao... pray that everything goes well.. hope that xiu can win the NP open.. wish that jn's load will lighten..
Saturday, May 17, 2008
save me.... please....
its been extreme long since i blog.. so i dun think anyone will read it anymore... good thin is i can keep it more quiet.. bad thin is.. no one will understand... i dun think i have the strength to think about this..
I'm feeling.. hmm.. i dun really know how to describe.. sad.. mad.. jealousy.. etc.. its a lot of those.. at a different time of cos.. if u ask me why? its most prob because i cannot c the path ahead of my life. If its stress i can handle them.. but each disappointment really makes me feel down. I try not to show.. not because i dun wan to share.. but rather i dun wan people around me to be affected. But sometimes i feel.. putting up a "mask" is becoming a habit.
School is really getting more difficult for me. Not because of the works given but rather, the amount of help i have to provide. People will come to me like LAO DA.. how to do ar.. Why like that ar.. even in prac... i have to walk around the lab helping people until its like a routine. I have to help others even when i haven finish my stuff.. a bit DUI BU QI xiu.. cos end up i like PS her to finish up.. and worse thin is people are giving comments like.. aiya someone wanna get GPA 4 mah.. if those were pointing at me.. i wouldn't mind.. cos its the truth.. but the thin is.. the arrows are pointing at xiu which makes me feel damn bad and sad. Dunno the choice to do lab work with her was a right one a not.
I'm not god.. everyone ask me for an ans.. but whenever i needed one.. who can i look for? i dunno everything.. JC doesn't teach u everything.. y dun people just try to listen and learn.. i'm not good at rejection.. i enjoy helping people.. but the way that its going.. i dunno how long can stand it... i dunno who to talk to.. dunno who to find.. every night when my dad goes to sleep.. the silent night is killing me.. losing myself.. I'm losing this war against life...
i never talk about "if".. but i just couldn't help it.. i wish u were here.. i wish i didn't make that decision to chase you off.. i wish i could be so farkin selfish to hold u tight in my arms.. but i couldn't.. we had to end.. its the only way u won't have any regrets.. its the only way to fulfill your dream.. its all over.. i always tot i moved on from that day.. but the fact is.. i didn't.. a slightest thin would bring memories back.. the harder i try to 4get.. the harder it gets.. its quite pointless to say all of this.. but i needed to face the reality.. i needed to say out.. thanks bro.. u woke me up.. though we so far apart.. u always knew what i needed and when.. i wish that u were never have to go through a life like mine.. bro.. believe me.. she is over.. I'm moving on...
because of this.. i know how important a friend is.. they were the only 2 that knew me well.. even without looking at my face.. they would know how i feel.. but they no longer by my side.. i have to struggle everything on my own. going poly.. facing high expectations.. countless of comments falling on me.. i survived those.. but the challenges get worse by the day...
xiu is finally getting better with jn.. once thins go back to normal.. more or less I'll be left by the side.. but still I'm happy for her.. its something she always wanted.. so i did whatever i could.. dun ask me y i do so much when its not even my business.. all i know is i wan to.. all i know is.. if jn can make her happy and xiu can make jn feel nice... den i will do anything to help.. i would do anything to see your smile.. xiu is getting sick.. worried here but all she needs is jn's comfort and love.. this may b a good thin for both of them.. a chance to care and concern.. a chance to rebuilt the bond... the feeling of someone always by your side is v good.. thins will go back to like it was.. jn.. just open up your feelings more.. its tiring for people to keep guessing.. you may say..den dun guess la.. but if u truly care.. u will do something..
i dun wan to be emo or what.. but i can't help it.. my heart and soul is beaten.. it will shatter soon.. someone save me.. please...
I'm feeling.. hmm.. i dun really know how to describe.. sad.. mad.. jealousy.. etc.. its a lot of those.. at a different time of cos.. if u ask me why? its most prob because i cannot c the path ahead of my life. If its stress i can handle them.. but each disappointment really makes me feel down. I try not to show.. not because i dun wan to share.. but rather i dun wan people around me to be affected. But sometimes i feel.. putting up a "mask" is becoming a habit.
School is really getting more difficult for me. Not because of the works given but rather, the amount of help i have to provide. People will come to me like LAO DA.. how to do ar.. Why like that ar.. even in prac... i have to walk around the lab helping people until its like a routine. I have to help others even when i haven finish my stuff.. a bit DUI BU QI xiu.. cos end up i like PS her to finish up.. and worse thin is people are giving comments like.. aiya someone wanna get GPA 4 mah.. if those were pointing at me.. i wouldn't mind.. cos its the truth.. but the thin is.. the arrows are pointing at xiu which makes me feel damn bad and sad. Dunno the choice to do lab work with her was a right one a not.
I'm not god.. everyone ask me for an ans.. but whenever i needed one.. who can i look for? i dunno everything.. JC doesn't teach u everything.. y dun people just try to listen and learn.. i'm not good at rejection.. i enjoy helping people.. but the way that its going.. i dunno how long can stand it... i dunno who to talk to.. dunno who to find.. every night when my dad goes to sleep.. the silent night is killing me.. losing myself.. I'm losing this war against life...
i never talk about "if".. but i just couldn't help it.. i wish u were here.. i wish i didn't make that decision to chase you off.. i wish i could be so farkin selfish to hold u tight in my arms.. but i couldn't.. we had to end.. its the only way u won't have any regrets.. its the only way to fulfill your dream.. its all over.. i always tot i moved on from that day.. but the fact is.. i didn't.. a slightest thin would bring memories back.. the harder i try to 4get.. the harder it gets.. its quite pointless to say all of this.. but i needed to face the reality.. i needed to say out.. thanks bro.. u woke me up.. though we so far apart.. u always knew what i needed and when.. i wish that u were never have to go through a life like mine.. bro.. believe me.. she is over.. I'm moving on...
because of this.. i know how important a friend is.. they were the only 2 that knew me well.. even without looking at my face.. they would know how i feel.. but they no longer by my side.. i have to struggle everything on my own. going poly.. facing high expectations.. countless of comments falling on me.. i survived those.. but the challenges get worse by the day...
xiu is finally getting better with jn.. once thins go back to normal.. more or less I'll be left by the side.. but still I'm happy for her.. its something she always wanted.. so i did whatever i could.. dun ask me y i do so much when its not even my business.. all i know is i wan to.. all i know is.. if jn can make her happy and xiu can make jn feel nice... den i will do anything to help.. i would do anything to see your smile.. xiu is getting sick.. worried here but all she needs is jn's comfort and love.. this may b a good thin for both of them.. a chance to care and concern.. a chance to rebuilt the bond... the feeling of someone always by your side is v good.. thins will go back to like it was.. jn.. just open up your feelings more.. its tiring for people to keep guessing.. you may say..den dun guess la.. but if u truly care.. u will do something..
i dun wan to be emo or what.. but i can't help it.. my heart and soul is beaten.. it will shatter soon.. someone save me.. please...