Its almost a week... though sometimes when i think abt it it hurts i hve decided to move on... i tot that no one wld eva read my blog again since i stop for a long period of time.. but i was wrong.. at least 1 person read and she gave me comfort... thanks alot.. but thins like tt.. i hve to overcome it myself.. when i preparin a video presentation for my physiology i realise wat a fool i hve been.. there are ppl out there findin hope and strugglin to live.. and me? i am just wastin my time being depress. 1 litre of tears.. it was this that made me stronger in my beliefs.. rite now.. it is wat that picked me out from that darkness.. although it wasn't complete.. but at least i hve e courage to move on. I may b hidin from it or runnin away.. so be it.. i wanna hang on to my beliefs.. at least thats wat i feel is most impt to me now.
BoA just new single is out.. i really like one of the song.. "Smile again" when i listen to it.. at the same time rememberin 1 litre of tears.. i really find strength to move on.. time will heal.. it may take 1 day.. 1 week.. 1 month or even longer.. but it doesn't matter anymore.. wat matter is wat do i wan to do.. wat can i do.. i no longer ask for any returns.. just hope tt happiness will stay even if mine no longer exist...
Monday, November 26, 2007
Move on
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Mask
I tot i would nv face another darkness.. yet it came.. life is full of surprise.. pain.. joy... its like a road with alot of junctions.. at each junction u will nv noe who u will meet what will happen. You may find urself at a dead end and take another turn in the previous junction. Just when u tot all is smooth.. u end up in another dead end. Somehow.. i'm managin it.. it still hurts.. but its alright.. i can hold it.. i can even smile at it.. i can laff.. can play along.. but is this really wat i wan? so wat its not.. its too late.. sometimes i feel like i'm a fool.. but i no longer know how to treat this "foolishness".. i'm too used to concealin... i'm too use to show the "fun" side.. this time i'm tired... real tired... i always believe some1 will be there.. i used to hve.. but freedom is the onli i can gif to her.. now.. i'm on my own.. its ok.. i believe just a few days more and mayb i will be freed from this dead end.. or at least i hope it will..
Monday, November 19, 2007
Truth
TRUTH can be surprising, predictive, sad or happy. The truth often has a impact. One such that often change one perspective about life. Humans are emotional and subjective. Truth that only brings happiness are welcomed. Truth that brins nothin more den tears and hurt are wished never to be told. Wats even more sad is when such truth is not delivered to u but discovered. Truth that was nv intended to let you noe. Kept in the dark, self pondering. Even so, there are truth that i nv wan to noe. Be it a lie or kept a secret, i just wanna be a fool. I'm just a human. I was slow to be truthful.. onli when the truth is realised, i knew wat it was. I nv wanna noe nor did i asked for it. The truth that hurts. Thousands knife stabbin thru.. a heart wounded so deep that blood runs dry. Tears will nv fall.. not for anyone anymore.. i once promised. But..mayb for once.. just mayb once.. i can be myself again........ nothin to hide.. no feelins to escape.. no emotion held back... just myself.. *tired*
"I’m tired of hiding behind these lying eyes. I’m tired of this smile that I don’t even recognize"
"I’m tired of hiding behind these lying eyes. I’m tired of this smile that I don’t even recognize"