Don't really know what to put for the entry title.. decided to leave it untitled... almost one whole week never blog.. but i'm intending to say how i spent my past weeks.. all i know is.. i had laughters and sadness.. alot of sad things happened and even though i'm not directly involved but i felt sad for others.. getting more sensitive as i grow older.. but i try to stay as happy as possible in school and when i'm outside.. Each nite.. sad news just keep coming.. the effort to balance out is way alot.. one word tiring..
When i look into the mirror and see myself each day.. i feel stranger.. i'm somehow felt that i don't recognise myself much anymore.. the harder i try to do something.. the harder i fall.. and the more i feel the lost of direction...
Today finally ended zx's IS module event.. quite a bit happened.. don't really feel like typing everything.. all i can say the process isn't fun.. and its energy draining...
But.. the most energy drainin isn't getting tired out in an event..
Most drainin thing.. is the effort to understand and communicate.. don't know anyone ever have all these occurance..
You care and all that person does is ignore or find it irritatin.. u try to understand.. and that person doesn't even care.. u try to find out more.. to shoulder some of the burden.. all that happens are just 2 words reply.. in that person's eyes.. u are nothing impt.. but u still continue to try... no matter how many times u've been hurt inside.. u kept quiet and still continue to try... no matter how much that person don't understand u.. u still continue to find out more about that person..
Alot of people will say.. fan jian (asking for it).. but don't we at some point in our lives would wanna do something for someone without anything back? don't we wanna make a fool of ourselves to make that person happy?
Each rejection.. kills the heart bit by bit..
The more i try to find out.. the more i dunno.. the more it hurts.. don't really know what to do anymore.. except to continue.. to try.. to smile.. and wish for the happiness...
About Me
- Name: Fu XianWang
- Age: 24
- School: Ngee Ann Poly Yr 3
- Tryin to be happy always and make others happy too
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