Ytd had the most BLANK day.. did nothing except bball.. bball from 9am in the morning all the way to 8pm... it was good in the way... my mind was blank.. didn't had to think of anything.. anyone.. went too far to the extend that my wrist almost injured.. think I'm no longer as good as b4 when regardless of the amount of training.. nothing will bring me down.. didn't wanted to watch movie or go for any dinner.. but i decided to do so.. since it was the last night jn in SG until one week later... on msn.. she told me to do some things.. which i think I'm no longer needed to fulfil.. not that i don't want to do.. just that.. i don't think i'm needed.. which i think is true..
Went on with the 1st plan of the week.. get some new clothing.. met anil in the middle of shopping.. den when changi airport for a hair cut... went to tampines shopping centre to walk around and waste time.. finally home..
2 probs.. twice the blow...
(1) Fark you bastard.. don't ever call me anymore.. you betrayed me.. my trust.. i believe soooo much in you.. but you lied.. again and again.. even when the rest said no.. it can't be.. i still believed.. I'm a complete idiot.. but guess I'm not too late to come back to reality..
(2) I believe i finally know what the weird feelings were.. it was what i feared most.. and what i couldn't believe most.. I'm lost.. not knowing what to do since i knew the truth.. the feelings are suffocating me.. but even if i make the attempt.. nothing good will come out.. especially its no longer possible.. in fact.. i think nothing could have started.. i really dunno i can hang on a not.. but i made my promise since that day.. i will do what i can.. don't ask me when it started.. it could be very very very long ago.. but the feelings just grew that strong now..
This reminds me of what someone used to be dear to me said...
“你像一阵风。明明感觉得到你却抓不住你。有时候根本猜不透你在想些什么。”
She said something else too.. which is a bit hard to say out.. but i finally know what she meant..
“我像一阵风。一个明明人们能感觉得到却看也看不到，摸也摸不到的风。人们的眼里是看不到风的。风会悄悄地来悄悄地去。没有人会知道他的存在。”
In a way.. she is right.. maybe.. maybe its time.. for the wind.. to move on..
The harder i hold.. the more suffocating it is.. if its hard to see the back.. den move until i don't see anything and keep on moving.. till the right moment for me to stop..
About Me
- Name: Fu XianWang
- Age: 24
- School: Ngee Ann Poly Yr 3
- Tryin to be happy always and make others happy too
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